Even in great relationships couples have to stay conscious and work hard to keep from drifting apart. But you and your man have no place to drift to, since you're already miles apart. This man isn't your best friend, your confidante, someone you can count on to be there for you when the going gets tough. You're not even there for each other when the going is easy. If I had to predict what kind of marriage you'd be likely to have with this man, I'd say . . . A brief one.

He says this is just an experiment. He wants to see how strong our love it. But I'm worried. We already live separate lives, have totally different friends and we rarely spend any time together. I'm afraid if we try his experiment, the relationship will be over.

Here are my questions:

1. Is my fiance a commitment phobe who really wants to end the relationship but is using a trial separation so he can take the chicken's way out?
2. Is there any way that his wanting to live separately is really because he wants to be sure we're right for each other?
3. Am I fooling myself ? Does he just want to let me down easy?

Help!

Signed,

Doubtful

Dear Doubtful,

I wish I could offer you encouragement here, but your fiance sounds like a rooster with one foot out the door. And the fact that the two of you have already been living parallel lives-- with different friends, few shared interests, and little time together--bodes ill for the future of your relationship. Being apart is hardly a way for two people to get closer together.

Even in great relationships couples have to stay conscious and work hard to keep from drifting apart. But you and your fiance have no place to drift to, since you're already miles apart. This man isn't your best friend, your confidante, someone you can count on to be there for you when the going gets tough. You're not even there for each other when the going is easy.

If I had to predict what kind of marriage you'd be likely to have with this man, I'd say . . . A brief one.

Trust your gut,

Betsy