The best way to get clients to use any homework tool between sessions is to first teach them how to use it during a session. Here's how I do that with The OuchKit.

Suppose a couple is arguing in my office. I might say something like, "Would you like to experience a better way of talking about this issue right now?" Then I hand them each an Ouch and Sorry card, and have them take turns reading the cards out loud to each other slowly. Each person gives an Ouch and responds to their partner's Ouch with a Sorry.

This deceptively simple process can be quite moving for a couple. It's often the first time a woman has heard her husband express the loneliness and rejection that lie beneath his anger. It may also be the first time either partner has gotten a heartfelt apology from the other.

Once clients have experienced the benefits of using the cards during a session, they're more likely to use them at home between sessions. Because of the way the cards are written, they automatically teach clients how to identify and express a full range of feelings--without defensiveness or blame. The cards work especially well with men, because they help them find words to describe their feelings. And because the cards can be given from a distance--slipped under a door, or left on the kitchen table--they allow a person to communicate difficult feelings from a safe distance when it feels unsafe or uncomfortable to do so face-to-face.